Israel is planning to sue The New York Times over a shocking report that Israeli prison officials are sexually torturing Palestinian prisoners.Opinion columnist Nicholas Kristof’s 3,500-word exposé graphically details mind-boggling cruelty,…
FT. WORTH, TX — Local millennial Chad McCallister finally figured out how to appropriately use "6-7" in casual conversation, thus effectively ending the popularity of the fad.Experts confirmed that the internet meme, slang, and hand…
U.S. — According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time.Despite all appearances to the contrary, Handler had reportedly been attempting to be funny…
Some would call it “progress.” Others would say it’s poetic justice or being hoist with your own petard. Whatever you call it, it certainly is ironic.First, a liberal Canadian politician pushes mass Third World migration because, well,…
The Supreme Court Thursday granted a stay blocking enforcement of a lower court ruling that would have restricted access to the abortion pill mifepristone by mail. The Court’s decision allows abortionists to continue prescribing mifepristone…
President Trump has finally admitted what everyone has known about the unconstitutional war against Iran: The U.S. attacked the country for Israel.Trump confessed the truth to Israel-first Fox talker Sean Hannity, who interviewed Trump during…
HOUSTON, TX — Lakewood Church officially announced that it would be changing its name to DraftKings Arena as part of a lucrative new branding deal.Pastor Joel Osteen confirmed the rebranding during a midweek service in which he detailed…
BURBANK, CA — In a surprise movie, The Walt Disney Company announced that it had acquired the rights to the 1990 film Robot Jox in a massive $7 billion deal."The prayers of millions of fans have finally been answered," Disney CEO Josh…
On Mother’s Day, the White House announced the creation of Mom.gov, an innovative website connecting new and expectant mothers with pregnancy resource centers and other helpful information. However, the website also directs women to drugs and…
FORT BEND, IN — After picking up a new pack of bulbs for the kitchen light fixture, local man Kyle Stephens was just 17 more trips to Home Depot away from having the correct light bulbs.Stephens quickly discovered that the bulbs he purchased had…
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