Worldviews
REPORT: If You Read This Headline You Are A Racist DO NOT READ
URGENT — A new report indicates that if you read this headline, you are, in fact, a racist.All individuals who do not wish to be racist are strongly advised not to read the headline.Are you still reading? You are now racist. You were…
Exhausted White Liberal Women Clock In For Another Long Day Protecting Migrant Sex Offenders
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Another long day of work was on the docket, as white liberal women clocked in for another long day of protesting the arrest of migrant sex offenders.Progressive women emerged from their homes and headed into work for a full day…
Groundbreaking New Study Finds Islamophobia May Be Partially Caused By Muslims Killing People All The Time
CAMBRIDGE — As the nations of the West continue to struggle with understanding how to deal with the spread of immigrants from Islamic countries, a groundbreaking new study found that islamophobia may be at least partially caused by Muslims…
Atheist Looks Forward To The Warmth And Cheer Of Arbitrary Cultural Traditions With No Transcendent Meaning
NEW YORK CITY — Sources close to Gary Bard say that the long-time atheist is looking forward to the warmth and cheer of arbitrary cultural traditions with no transcendent meaning again this year.According to Bard, celebrating meaningless social…
Auschwitz Guard Explains He Doesn’t Hate Jews Or Anything, Just Zionists
OŚWIĘCIM — Jews on their way to their imminent deaths reportedly overheard a guard at the Auschwitz-Birkenau Death Camp, later identified as Maximilian Mulka, rejecting claims that he hated Jewish people, saying, "I don't hate the Jews…