Don’t be alarmed, but there may be times when your wife will leave you home along with the kids for hours — or even days — on end. Knowing what to do in these situations is vital for their survival, and yours.
The Babylon Bee is here to help with the following list of tips for dads left to babysit their own children:
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Ask them what their names are: It will help break the ice if you know what to call them.
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Buy them a dog: Plus, it’ll surprise your wife when she gets home.
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Smoke them in Mario Kart: An important exercise in character-building.
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Ask ChatGPT, “What do kids eat?”: You should at least feed them once every couple of days.
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Play a game called “Police Detective” where you play as the dead body: You don’t even have to get off the couch.
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Sit them down with a copy of War and Peace and tell them to summarize it at the end of the day: That’ll keep them busy.
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Swing by Home Depot and pick up some day laborers to help you out: As long as ICE hasn’t been by, you should be good.
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Noise-canceling headphones: They make all the difference.
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Play Hide & Seek and wait to see how long before they come out: Prizes for whoever stays in their hiding spot longest.
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Put them to work on your wife’s “honey do” list: No sense in letting the extra help go to waste.
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Tombstone: “I’m your huckleberry.”
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“Who wants to go to Grandma’s house?”: Works every time.
See how easy it is when you know what to do? What are your tips for the babysitting dads out there? Post them in the comments.
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
