family
Dad Sits Family Down And Lays Out Summer ‘Lord Of The Rings’ Viewing Schedule
LAKEWOOD, CO — In a solemn family meeting, local father Chandler Cooke gathered his wife and children into the living room to unveil the family's detailed, non-negotiable Lord of the Rings summer viewing schedule.Sources later confirmed…
Child Informs Parents She Feels Most Loved When She Is Allowed To Do Everything She Wants With No Consequences
COVENTRY, RI — Local child Lilly Shacklefort made waves in her community this Friday when she told her parents she feels most loved when she's allowed to do whatever she wants without any consequences whatsoever."So I'm going to…
Fernando Mendoza’s First Choice as NFL’s First Pick is Family
As expected, Heisman Trophy and National Championship-winning quarterback Fernando Mendoza was the top pick in the NFL Draft by the Las Vegas Raiders on Thursday night – a storybook finish to his college career and a celebrated start to his…
Weird, But OK: Woman Carries Child For 9 Months Just To Name Him ‘Walter’
KINGMAN, AZ — According to witness accounts, a local woman carried her unborn child to a full 9 months, enduring considerable hardship in the process, only to name him "Walter."Elizabeth Sullivan reportedly endured several months of…
Grandma Announces She Has Finally Joined MyFace
NAVASOTA, TX — Local grandma Susan Fields announced to her family that she had finally gotten with the times and made a profile on "that MyFace thing."After years of resisting joining any form of social media, Fields finally decided to…
Families Are Moving to a Better Life … in Red States
Across the country, families are packing up their beloved and settled homes and starting a new life elsewhere. What’s motivating them to go to so much trouble? The data show it’s politics and beliefs. They are leaving blue states for red states.…
Why I Wrote What Really Matters: Restoring a Legacy of Faith, Family, and Freedom
Over the past several years, I have had the honor to write a series of columns on issues dear to my heart: the importance of marriage, families, male leadership, a well-ordered society, faith, and history. Each of these issues affects what we…
Supreme Court: Colorado Can’t Force Counselors to Affirm Kids’ Gender Identities
The Supreme Court ruled 8-1 Tuesday that a Colorado law prohibiting licensed counselors from helping minors shed unwanted same-sex attraction or gender confusion violates the First Amendment.Writing for the majority, Justice Neil Gorsuch…
Woman Born In August Worried Husband Isn’t Thinking About Her Birthday Yet
PROVO, UT — Local woman Denise Stanford expressed concern that her husband, Mike, had yet to begin even thinking about her August 26th birthday.Despite Stanford dropping several hints that her birthday was just four months away, her husband had…
VP Vance: “You have kids, you figure it out.”
With three children and a fourth expected to be born later this year, Vice President JD Vance’s strong endorsement of parenthood is a matter of personal conviction. Speaking with the popular podcaster and commentator Benny Johnson last week, the…