LOS ANGELES, CA — Former Vice President Kamala Harris revealed on Friday that she is seriously thinking about losing again in 2028.
After spending time taking stock of her crushing defeat at the hands of President Donald Trump in 2024, Harris said she has yet to rule out getting humiliated on a national stage once again.
“The last time, I got fewer votes, and the other person, he got more votes. So basically, that’s bad,” explained Harris. “I’ve had time now to reflect, and I’m thinking I should do that again. Last time, I got to meet Cardi B and see a yellow school bus. Who doesn’t love a yellow school bus? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Am I right?”
Veterans of Harris’s 2024 campaign expressed interest in losing once more, but in a different way. “Kamala is deeply unlikable and incompetent, and we think we can leverage that into another national embarrassment,” said former campaign manager Julie Rodriguez. “We’ve already seen some great internal polling that shows Kamala could be in a great position to lose in 2028, maybe even worse than in 2024. She could lose all sorts of new states. It’s really exciting to think about.”
At publishing time, Kamala had announced that she also had yet to rule out ordering a fourth glass of wine.
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