Posted on | April 12, 2026 | No Comments
We are now less than four months away from the 250th anniversary of American independence, which means that the “Early Bird Special” at my favorite fireworks wholesaler will soon be ending. That’s the shortest explanation for why I’ve once again super-sized the PayPal “donate” button for the benefit of near-sighted readers who otherwise may have overlooked the PayPal button. The first time I did this, seven years ago, the financial situation was so dire that I posted a picture of Mrs. Other McCain in a bikini. Fortunately, the household budget has improved since then, so I’m not fretting over the electric bill now. However my favorite wholesale fireworks outlet has a $750 minimum purchase to qualify for their 25% Early Bird discount, and so why not the bikini?
Nineteen ninety was a very good year, my friends. Perhaps you can see why keeping my wife happy is Job Number One, and despite the improvement in our household finances, we’re not so affluent that taking out $750 for a wholesale fireworks purchase would make my wife happy. She tolerates my annual pyrotechnical extravaganzas, which is not to say she approves of the expense. From her point of view, it’s terribly wasteful, whereas from my point of view, it’s therapeutic. Maintaining sanity in this crazy world is difficult, especially when your day job requires you to pay attention to politics. The business of assembling a fireworks show — timing all those fuses in search of the perfect finale, etc. — gives me a distraction from the howling madness, and a constructive outlet for my mental and emotional energies.
That’s the finale of our 2020 show, and we hope to make it extra special for this year’s 250th celebration of July 4th. So whatever you could contribute — $5, $10, $25 — would be greatly appreciated because the Five Most Important Words in the English Language are still:
