SAN DIEGO, CA — In accordance with his normal travel routine, a local man made sure that he packed a book for his vacation so that he can carry around a book on his vacation.
Sources close to Alex Campbell revealed that he was excited to get ready for his trip to Europe next week and that he double-checked his standard list of what to pack for the vacation, including a book that he would have to lug around everywhere he went until he got back home.
“Can’t forget to take something I won’t read,” Campbell reportedly said as he looked over his checklist. “For as long as I can remember, I have always made sure to pack a book that will just sit in my bag and make it heavier for me to carry around everywhere. Which book will I take and not read a single page of this year?”
Campbell’s wife confirmed that it’s a habit he’s had since before she ever met him. “Yeah, it makes no sense,” Iris Campbell said. “We’ve taken a lot of trips since we’ve been together, and I’ve yet to ever actually see him read a book while we’re on vacation. And he always agonizes for an hour when he’s packing to decide which book to take on the trip. Then, we get home from vacation, and the book goes back on the shelf until our next trip. He has problems.”
Witnesses revealed that Campbell had finally settled on which book he would take this time. “This year, I’m packing Red Harvest by Dashiell Hammett,” he said. “It’s a classic crime novel about a hard-boiled detective investigating a corrupt town during Prohibition. Or something. I’m not really sure, since I’ve never read it. I just carry it in my bag.”
At publishing time, Campbell had been seen deliberating over which of his phone chargers he would take and leave behind in his hotel room.
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