COVENTRY, RI — Local child Lilly Shacklefort made waves in her community this Friday when she told her parents she feels most loved when she’s allowed to do whatever she wants without any consequences whatsoever.
“So I’m going to keep hitting my brother. OK?” Lilly, 6, said.
According to Lilly, love means stuffed animals and kittens, not chores and discipline. “Love is supposed to only feel good,” she said.
Lilly’s parents reportedly tried to reason with her, only to be destroyed by her facts and logic.
“If you don’t let me stay up all night watching Bluey, then I’ll be sad,” she said. “Why would you want to make me cry?”
Bill and Margaret Shaklefort are reportedly at a loss. “We tried turning things around on her, to say she needed to show love too, but then she said that wasn’t loving to tell her that,” said Bill. “I didn’t know what to say to that. Her intelligence must be off the charts.”
According to sources, Lilly’s brother, Billy, has been sleeping in a dog crate for the past three weeks while her parents attempt to reason with her.
At publishing time, Lilly Shacklefort drew a “beautiful” mural on the living room wall in permanent marker, depicting the whole family, with Lilly right in the center, towering over everyone.
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