Conservative Too Exhausted To Form Opinion On Thomas Massie

HOUSTON, TX — Local conservative Brady Jones admitted to friends this week that he was just too tired of political drama to have an opinion about whatever is going on with Kentucky Representative Thomas Massie.

Though Massie has become embroiled in controversy in the midst of a primary race, Jones said he was too exhausted from the constant waves of conservative outrage on every topic to muster a thought.

“I just… I don’t know,” Jones said. “I know he apparently did some stuff, and it’s maybe bad or something. But honestly, with everything in the news these days, I just don’t have room in my head to really dig into it. Right now I have to care about the war in Iran, the Los Angeles mayoral race, the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool, Sidney Sweeny, Christopher Nolan, Demi Moore… my brain just can’t take any more drama.”

Reports surfaced this week implicating Massie in an extramarital affair or something of the sort, Jones reported. “I’m not sure what it was, but I know some people are mad and other people are mad at the mad people. There’s just too much to care about right now.”

A recent poll shows Jones was not alone in his political fatigue, with just 1 in 10 conservatives saying they have the energy to care about the Thomas Massie news. Many report similar feelings of exhaustion and apathy with the latest news cycle.

At publishing time, many conservatives also admitted they just don’t have the energy to care about whatever crazy thing Trump said to a female reporter this week.