Graham Platner Says He Got His ‘I (Heart) Hitler’ Tattoo Before He Knew Of Its Nazi Connections

AUGUSTA, ME — While Republicans continued working overtime to smear Senate candidate Graham Platner because of all the awful things he is and does, Platner had enough and decided to fight back.

One common area of attack against Platner is his tattoo, which Republicans have tried to use to paint Platner as some sort of Nazi. Now, Platner has come out forcefully to set the record straight, saying he got his “I (Heart) Hitler” tattoo before he knew about the Nazi implications of it.

“So, I was in Thailand for the sex tourism,” Platner explained. “And while high on cocaine — as one tends to be — I decided I should get a tattoo. I simply picked this one out because I thought it looked neat.”

Platner said he was unaware that the “Hitler” in the tattoo referred to the genocidal dictator of Nazi Germany and just assumed Hitler was the Thai name for baseball. “You know, you hit the ball, so you call it Hitler,” Platner said. “Makes sense, right?”

Platner said he had no idea that “I (Heart) Hitler” is a common sentiment among Nazis who like Hitler. “It’s hard for me to keep up on all these internet memes,” Platner told the press, “what with me so busy with infidelity and all.”

At publishing time, he explained that he hoped that people could look past his tattoo since “people make mistakes.”

“Frankly,” Platner said, “I can’t remember the last thing I did that wasn’t a mistake.”