I Took My Fiancé to Planned Parenthood. 34 Years Later I Have Massive Regret

I’ll never forget the day I drove my girlfriend to Planned Parenthood.

Thirty-four years ago, my now-wife Tricia and I were newly engaged, and we discovered she was pregnant. Both of us were afraid, unsure of how this would affect our marriage. So, I did what many young men do and turned to someone I respected for advice: my father.

I considered my father to be a good man. I trusted his judgment. When he advised that Tricia obtain an abortion, it seemed like the solution to our situation. He was only trying to counsel us in a way that he thought was loving and wise. My father knew the pain of divorce and wanted to shield me from a pregnancy he believed could cause my relationship to break down. He wanted better for Tricia and for me.

Unfortunately, our decision to walk into Planned Parenthood would do anything but shield us from pain.

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For years, Tricia and I carried shame and regret separately, in silence. When we procured that abortion, we didn’t fully understand the permanent weight of the decision we were making.

A decision that cost us the life of our sweet daughter, Sarah.

Abortion is commonly thought of as a woman’s issue, one that doesn’t involve men. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Abortion is a family issue.

This Father’s Day, I want to encourage men to embrace the courage and responsibility that fatherhood requires.

One of the biggest issues plaguing our society is fatherlessness. In the United States alone, there are 18.2 million children living without a biological, step, or adoptive father. That’s roughly one in four children growing up without the guidance, protection, and presence of a dad in their lives.

I recognize that not every man feels equipped to take on this role. I certainly didn’t feel equipped when I found out that Tricia was pregnant. But looking back, I wish I had persisted and stood boldly for her and for our child.

Fear drove much of my decision-making as a young man. Looking back, I realize how desperately young men need courage, guidance, and strong examples of sacrificial fatherhood. Too many men have been taught that abortion is someone else’s issue. It isn’t. Men shape these decisions through their presence, their absence, their fear, or their courage.

Courageous, Godly men are not built in isolation. They are built in strong homes, in the church, and within strong communities.

Proverbs 27:17 puts it this way: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

The Church has a responsibility to disciple young men toward courage, responsibility, and sacrificial love. Strong fathers and strong families are rarely formed alone. They are formed through faith, accountability, and community.

If we do not disciple our sons, the culture will.

And if we do not protect our daughters, the culture will redefine what protection means.

Too often, the Church has been hesitant to speak clearly about abortion and the wounds it leaves behind. But God makes His stance clear in Proverbs 31:8: “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.”

As the leader of one of the largest pro-life organizations in the country, I’m determined to use my voice on behalf of the voiceless. Families deserve to know the truth about abortion and the wounds it causes.

My story is personal, but millions of families are still facing these decisions today. Planned Parenthood reported more than 434,000 abortions in its most recent annual report, a tragic reminder that abortion remains deeply woven into American life. Congress now faces a moral decision about whether taxpayer dollars should continue flowing to the nation’s largest abortion provider.

What can we do when faced with such a large and deadly evil? My encouragement to men is simple: pray.

Pray for the women in your life and pray for the women across the country who are paralyzed in fear, trapped in the lie that abortion is the only option.

Pray for the men in your life. Pray that they would lean on God to be strong husbands and fathers. And pray that they would stand boldly beside women and families in moments of crisis.

Thirty-four years later, I still think about the daughter we never met. I cannot change the decision Tricia and I made, but I can tell the truth about what abortion took from our family.

If we want abortion to become unnecessary in our lifetime, it will require fathers who are willing to choose courage over fear and stand beside women with love, sacrifice, and conviction.

LifeNews Note: Jeff Bradford, President and CEO of Human Coalition, is a former business leader who built and led multiple companies before dedicating his career in 2012 to advancing Human Coalition’s mission to save preborn children and grow it into one of the nation’s largest pro-life organizations. This column originally appeared at the Christian Post.