Pope Gently Tells Michelangelo He Really Wanted Ceiling To Be More Of A Neutral Gray

VATICAN CITY — After four years of painstaking labor creating thousands of square feet of breathtaking frescoes, Michelangelo at last unveiled the Sistine Chapel ceiling, only to be informed by Pope Julius II that he had really wanted the ceiling to be more of a neutral gray.

According to witnesses, the Pope waited until Michelangelo had climbed down from the scaffolding for the final time before gently breaking the news.

“Hey, Michelangelo. Gosh, I don’t know how to say this, but for the ceiling… I was really thinking more of a nice grey or beige. A greige color, if you will,” said Pope Julius II. “I’m sorry for the miscommunication, totally my bad. Don’t get me wrong, the ceiling is lovely, great craftsmanship on all the naked people and whatnot, but I’m really going for a neutral color scheme.”

Michelangelo reportedly stared silently into the distance for several moments before asking the pope to repeat himself.

“Yeah, just something that opens up the space. Maybe eggshell. Dove gray. You know, timeless,” said the Pope. “Again, super impressed with all the Bible stories you fit onto a ceiling, had no clue that was even possible. It’s just not really the vibe we’re shooting for.”

Sources said the Pope then produced a collection of paint swatches from behind his robes, holding them up to eye against the towering fresco of the creation of Adam. “See there, this one is called ‘Morning Mist’. Isn’t that calming, Michelangelo?”

At publishing time, Pope Julius II had reassured the devastated artist that it was “nothing a quick weekend repaint couldn’t fix.”