Nazi Really Regretting Getting Graham Platner Tattoo

BANGOR, ME — In the wake of the Democratic nominee suspending his Senate campaign, local Nazi Wade Marks expressed regret over getting his Graham Platner tattoo.

Marks reportedly obtained the chest tattoo after a drunken evening down at the Nazi hangout, but maintained that he didn’t know the dark meaning of Graham Platner.

“It really makes me look bad,” sighed Marks. “I’m telling you, I didn’t know at the time what a tattoo of Graham Platner really meant, how bad it was. I would never have done it. I’m thinking about getting a massive swastika tattoo to cover it up and restore my good name.”

According to his fellow Nazis, Marks had become somewhat of a pariah due to the tattoo. “It’s pretty disturbing, a Platner tattoo,” said fellow Nazi Matt Kitchens. “I know Wade says he didn’t know better, but come on, man. That shows a serious lack of judgment. He’s giving us Nazis a bad name, to be frank. Hopefully, he’ll own up to his mistake and do something to get it fixed.”

At publishing time, Marks had gotten a new tattoo of a totenkopf to cover up his Platner tattoo.