Health
Fentanyl Deaths Fall 22% as Trump Touts Drug Crackdown
The fentanyl crisis that ravaged American communities for years is finally breaking hard in the other direction — and President Donald Trump is pointing to a full-court press on the border, cartels and traffickers as the reason the deadly drug…
Scientists Determine Ultra-Processed Foods Like Nacho Cheese Doritos Are Exceptionally Delicious, But More Extensive Testing And Many More Bags Are Needed To Draw A Final Conclusion
U.S. — Though a 10-year food study determined that ultra-processed foods like Doritos are exceptionally delicious, scientists cautioned that more extensive testing and many more bags were needed to draw a final conclusion.Researchers with the…
HHS Probes $120M in Gender Treatments for Minors
The Trump Administration has launched a criminal investigation after a new federal report alleged that hospitals billed nearly $120 million for gender-related medical procedures and drugs provided to minors since 2019. The 64-page Department of…
HHS Probes $120M in Gender Treatments for Minors
The Trump Administration has launched a criminal investigation after a new federal report alleged that hospitals billed nearly $120 million for gender-related medical procedures and drugs provided to minors since 2019. The 64-page Department of…
Xenomorph Queen Freezes Eggs | Babylon Bee
ARCHERON (LV-426) — A grotesque creature scientists identified as a Xenomorph Queen reportedly elected to freeze its eggs until such time as it becomes "emotionally ready" to have offspring.Researchers believe the Xenomorph Queen had…
Chipotle Cashier Tells Customer There’s An Extra Charge For No Salmonella
CHICAGO, IL — One local customer was caught off guard by a new policy at his favorite restaurant chain, as the Chipotle cashier told the man that there would be an extra charge for no Salmonella.While previous upcharges had been reserved for…
RFK Starts Off Cooking Show With Reminder To Always Cook Raccoon To At Least 165 Degrees
HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA — Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. kicked off his new cooking show with a reminder for viewers at home to always be sure to cook raccoon to an internal temperature of at least 165 degrees…
Fauci Asks China To Engineer New Virus That Just Kills Rand Paul
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sources close to Dr. Anthony Fauci reported that the former Chief Medical Director called his contacts in China this morning and asked if they could engineer a new virus that would just kill Senator Rand Paul.Fauci reportedly…
Experts Baffled By Mysterious Mental Health Disorder That Causes People To Stab Jews
U.S. — Experts remain perplexed by a mysterious mental health disorder that causes people to stab Jews.Yet another case was reported in New York this week, as the mental health malady was once again blamed after a Muslim man stabbed multiple…
Man Who Ate At Taco Bell Getting More Baja Blast Than He Bargained For
DOWNEY, CA — According to witnesses, a man eating at Taco Bell received quite a bit more Baja Blast than he had been counting on.Just moments after finishing a Crunchwrap Supreme and Mountain Dew Baja Blast, local man Richard Plummer caused…