Lifestyle
Cyclists Shocked, Dismayed To Learn Vehicles Also Allowed To Use Roads
U.S. — Few things can perturb bicyclists, the carefree pedalers who move only slightly faster than a human can run, except for one thing: something getting in the way of their bicycling. That's why they've expressed shock and dismay to…
Older Woman Gets Botox So She Can Look Like An Older Woman Who Got Botox
REDWOOD CITY, CA — Older woman Laura Middleson reportedly went to her local wellness spa and had the clinician there inject her with Botox so she could look like an older woman who had been injected with Botox."I want to look like someone…
Here’s What Each Of The 73 Letters In Canada’s New LGBT Acronym Stands For
If you haven't heard, Canada has officially dropped a new acronym for the LGBT movement with many, many new additions. The LGBT community in Canada is now:MMBJOUQTJLAYAWD40ROOMDCF+SVPWIZ¯\_(ツ)_/¯BFJTWLEGOBLT£LADBOSUBDDBLAGF+>:-(It's…
Next-Door Neighbor Either Doing Very Well Financially Or In Massive Amounts Of Debt
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local man Tony Flanders noted that, by the looks of it, his next-door neighbor was either very, very wealthy or in massive amounts of debt."I don't know how they're doing it," Flanders remarked to his…
ZipRecruiter Ad Interrupted By Brief Word From Podcast
LOS ANGELES, CA — Local woman Vanessa Miller reported feeling annoyed Thursday morning when her favorite weekly ZipRecruiter ad was interrupted by three minutes of podcast content.Miller, who was comfortably settling into her forty-fifth minute…
DEAL ALERT: Save Big On A 20-Pound Weighted Vest By Just Gaining 20 Pounds
Looking to expand your personal gym, but low on cash? Instead of spending money on a 20-pound weighted vest, try just gaining 20 pounds instead.Running around with extra weight is a great way to work out — doubly so if the weight is part of your…
Paddleboat Ride Enjoyable For Seven Seconds
STANLEY, ID — A paddleboat ride at a local lake resulted in about seven seconds of enjoyment for a local couple, followed by twenty minutes of pain, work, sweat, and regret, sources revealed."I love this!" exclaimed Ben Burchstead,…
Unpaid TSA Agent Still Showing Up To Grope People For Love Of The Game
DENVER, CO — Despite the partial government shutdown, one unpaid TSA agent is still showing up to grope people at the airport for the pure love of the game.The TSA is one of the agencies that has been affected by the funding shortfall that began…
Here Are 12 Fun Crimes You Can Get Away With If You Just Say ‘We Are On Stolen Land’
Stolen land is all the rage in the news lately. These days, everyone gets a free pass to do as many fun crimes as they want on land swiped from indigenous peoples, as long as they keep pointing out that the land was stolen.Here are 12 awesome…
Thoughtful Husband Purposely Does Numerous Things Wrong Because He Knows How Much His Wife Loves Nagging
TWIN FALLS, ID — A thoughtful husband is being recognized for purposely doing numerous things wrong because he knows how much his wife loves nagging.Mark Garcia is always thinking of his wife, Melissa, and trying to come up with ways to bless…