WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senate Democrats voted to expel Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman on Thursday after their repeated warnings for him to stop supporting America were ignored.
Fetterman, who recently praised Trump’s military action in Iran, was expelled under Article I, Section 5, Clause 2 of the Constitution after failing to fall in line with his Democratic colleagues.
“Hrrrrmmmmmmm,” Fetterman reportedly said when he heard the news.
Ahead of his expulsion, Fetterman reportedly met with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer in a closed-door meeting, the subject of which was leaked by congressional aides. “Listen here, Frankenstein, you’ve got some nerve supporting America, and you’re going to pay, see?” Schumer allegedly said. “We vote on party lines here, got it?”
But the threat didn’t stick, possibly thanks to Fetterman’s tremendous girth, which makes taking a sledgehammer to his kneecaps impractical.
To expel Fetterman, Democrats needed a simple two-thirds majority and an oversized crane to physically lift Fetterman out of the Capitol Building after he refused to leave.
“So this is how democracy dies,” Fetterman said following his expulsion. “With a giant crane.”
Schumer was expected to appoint an interim senator to take Fetterman’s seat and get back to destroying the country as soon as possible.
At publishing time, Republicans were reportedly inspired by the Democrats’ impulsive move and had called for a vote to expel Senate Majority Leader John Thune.
The news media seems to be having a problem reporting the news.
