WORLD — World leaders pleaded with Israel and the United States to stop attacking Iran this week in an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council, warning that if World War III doesn’t end soon, it would likely distract from Taylor Swift’s wedding.
American pop star Taylor Swift is set to marry Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce on June 13, a romantic day that would likely be overshadowed by war unless America ends WWIII now.
“As a Swiftie, I was really hoping to take that day off work,” said French President Emmanuel Macron. “I can’t really do that if there’s a war on.”
Iran has called out the “Great Satan” for endangering the world’s celebration of Taylor Swift’s wedding. “This is of grave importance,” said Muhammad Ahmed, the interim leader of Iran. “Taylor Swift is getting married, and her very special day could be ruined unless the United States ceases all hostilities immediately.”
Ahmed was unable to finish his statement as he was killed by a cruise missile.
Secretary of State Marco Rubio was reportedly moved by the world’s unity around Taylor Swift and said he would bring this concern to the president.
At publishing time, President Trump agreed WWIII had gone on long enough and, to expedite its conclusion, nuked Tehran.
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