Writing for our friends at the Institute for Family Studies, Erica Komisar, a psychoanalyst and author, makes an interesting observation about two recent major articles involving motherhood in the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.
It seems that the pieces, both of which focused on conservative women, spent the vast majority of attention on the mother’s point of view and very little centered on what’s best for their children
Komisar writes, “I’ve spent decades listening to what children tell us — through their behavior, emotional health, and resilience, about what they need most. I’ve witnessed firsthand in the adults that I see in my practice what happens when those needs aren’t met. The research is clear: in the first three years of life, children require consistent, predictable, and emotionally attuned care, ideally from a parent — most often the mother.”
Only Komisar notes most of the talk from the “political left” revolves around personal fulfillment. On the “political right,” she believes there’s too little talk about the economic conditions that “force most mothers into the workforce well before they or their babies are ready.”
There’s no denying that it’s expensive to raise children. Earlier this year, U.S. News and World Report compared current household costs with what the average American home managed back in 1925. A lot can change in a hundred years.
Back in 1925, the average household income was $5,425. In current dollars, that would be the equivalent of $98,968. Not surprisingly, those 1925 dollars went a long way, unlike today’s paychecks. The average new house back in 1925 cost $11,600 – or $211,619 today. In the second quarter of 2025, the average sale price of a house in the United States was $410,800. Back in 1925, a Model T Ford cost $260 or $4,743 in today’s dollars.
It could be argued, though, that relatively speaking, stretching dollars has always been a challenge – though some generations have undoubtedly faced unique circumstances. In recent years, the cost of basic household expenses has soared for a variety of reasons, including a consequence of bad economic policy, inflation and an ever-evolving understanding and expansion of what’s a necessity versus what is a luxury.
Today’s families face a slew of expenses that weren’t even imagined or considered generations ago, including various technologically based costs: Cellphones, cable, computers, and streaming services. Over the years, lifestyle expectations have skyrocketed – juiced by the power of suggestion communicated via those technological mediums. Everything from housecleaning, home maintenance, traveling sports leagues for kids, and dining out are all impacting the bottom line.
Are any or all of those expenses necessities or luxuries?
Financial guru and talk show host Dave Ramsey has long distinguished between what expenses are critical versus what’s optional by defining and prioritizing what he calls the “Four Walls” – food, utilities, shelter, and transportation.
Of course, there can be plenty of luxuries within those walls, too. We need food, but not excessive amounts or costly processed options. Eating out is often a luxury. We need utilities, but does everyone need air conditioning? We need somewhere to live, but the trend to larger homes raises the question of whether as much space as many now enjoy is needed. Transportation is a necessity, but would a used car suffice? Is a massive new truck a critical purchase? Perhaps. Perhaps not.
Vacations are luxuries, as are travel sports teams, stops at Starbucks, and landscaping services – especially when able-bodied young people live in the home. College may or may not be for everyone, but many families are recognizing and appreciating the economic savings that can be found in nearby community or state colleges. Many who feel led to Christian colleges have enthusiastically pursued scholarship opportunities.
It would be wise, helpful and appropriate to acknowledge the impact and influence economic policy has on family economics. But it would also be wise to expand and pivot the conversation and consider what role individual choice and prioritization also has on the economic pressures many families are currently facing.
Image from Shutterstock.
