When my seven-year-old grandson, Oliver, learned I had recently broken my arm, he created a sympathy card for me. “Get well soon!” he wrote in wobbly, crayoned letters. Below was a picture he’d drawn of me: One of my arms is lying on the ground in pieces.
Grandchildren! So exciting when they begin to arrive, so much fun when they are old enough to be taken to parks, to the beach, or out for pizza. My husband and I shamelessly spoil our two little guys — Oliver and his brother Benjamin — with frequent trips to the local creamery for black raspberry ice cream and longed-for games on their birthdays.
When my grandsons came along, I wanted to create special memories for them so they would remember us when we are no longer here. During the summer months, when they come from their Pennsylvania home to my house in the Maryland countryside, I prepare one of their favorite meals — typically grilled salmon, corn on the cob, and chocolate cake. As I cook, they ride the inflated pool shark, swing high on the tree swing, and practice their archery (“No, Oliver, you may NOT shoot arrows at your brother!”) As the day darkens into evening, Grandpa lights a fire in the outdoor brick oven, gathers sticks, and helps the boys make s’mores.
I wanted to be the best Grammi in the world. Naturally, I prayed for my grandsons daily from the day I learned they were coming into the world. But — astonishingly, given that I worked in ministry for many years — it didn’t occur to me to share the Gospel with them. That, I assumed, was the job of their parents and Sunday School teachers. For Benji and Oliver, the only signs we were Christians was hearing Grandpa say grace at Sunday dinner and coming to church with us on Christmas Eve — assuming they weren’t spending the holiday back home in Philadelphia.
I now realize I had unthinkingly absorbed the culture’s messages on grandparenting — a culture that says it’s about being a fun buddy, feeding the kids too much sugar, and buying them presents at the drop of a hat.
A Vital Role
How different things were a hundred years ago. In those days, aging grandparents were often welcomed into the homes of their adult children. They helped with housework, baked cookies, and shared the job of looking after the little ones. They entertained the kids with stories of their own childhoods (“I had to hike five miles to school in three feet of snow!”) and provided words of wisdom — just like the grandparents did on The Waltons TV series.
These days, grandparents tend to be healthier and live longer. They have greater resources; many continue working long after their grandchildren are born, and if they’re retired, they might enjoy traveling around the world. Many live in senior housing communities that don’t permit children. Far from offering words of wisdom, they’re careful not to interfere with their adult children’s parenting decisions. Their grandchildren often live thousands of miles away, making interactive relationships difficult.
Like me, these grandparents may not have given much thought to the important spiritual role God intends them to play in their grandchildren’s lives. For instance, in 2 Timothy 1:15, we see Paul praising Timothy’s grandmother, Lois, for the way she spiritually nurtured him — an important role given that Timothy’s father was not a believer.
In Deuteronomy 4:19, God instructs His people to remember His statutes and ordinances, and “teach them to your children and to their children after them.”
Psalm 103:17 promises that “from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’S love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children.” And in Psalm 71:17-18, we read, “From my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.”
Celebrate Grandparents’ Day the Best Way
My husband and I live two and a half hours away from Benjamin and Oliver. We see them about twice a month. I wish they lived closer — and perhaps someday they will — but until then, I plan to start sending weekly letters or emails to the kids, telling them about our faith, encouraging them to read the Bible, and to take any concerns and fears to God in prayer. The letter I send this week will have a couple of Dunkin Donuts gift cards in it, just to get them excited about this new thing.
One summer, when they are a bit older, we hope to take the boys to Grandparents camp, run by the Evangelical Free Church. And we plan to learn more about how we can do a better job of discipling our grandkids through the Legacy Coalition, a ministry dedicated to encouraging intentional Christian grandparenting.
Today is Grandparents Day. It’s a good time for you to think about the role you should be playing in your grandchildren’s lives, if you possibly can. If your church doesn’t have a program devoted to helping grandparents spiritually influence their grandchildren, ask your pastor to start one. And suggest he consider preaching a sermon or two about God’s specific commands to grandparents.
Proverbs 17:6 tells us that grandchildren are “a crown to the aged.” This verse suggests that children are joyous, late-in-life gifts from God we should enjoy. (And we do enjoy our own grandkids when they come to visit, even when they leave Legos on the floor for Grammi to trip over or hide a rubber snake in my purse to make me scream.) But we should never forget our primary duty to these precious children: to help them understand that God loves them, sent His Son to die for them, and that their primary purpose in life is to love and serve Him.
Anne morse is the author or coauthor of 11 books.
