9 Foolproof Ways To Get Men To Show Up To A Bible Study

Brought to you by Memento:

Regular Bible study is an important ingredient in a person’s continued spiritual growth, but sometimes men just “don’t wanna.” Here are some foolproof tips to get the men in your life to show up to Bible study:

1. If they’re single and under thirty, tell them there will be chicks present: So easy.

2. If they’re married and over thirty, tell them there won’t be any chicks present: It changes so fast.

3. Call it a “Smoked, barrel-aged Bible study”: Mm, delicious.

4. Lure them with a little trail of brisket: Like a moth to the flame.

5. Make it a Bible study SLASH fantasy football league: Draft a wideout, read a verse.

6. Clarify that everyone will really just sit around smoking cigars while reading the Bible with their yappers shut: Sold.

7. Disguise it as a college football-watching party: They will be overjoyed when you turn off the TV and hurl a Bible at them.

8. Call them gay if they don’t come: A simple, yet remarkably powerful trick.

9. Just send out a pic of your N64 with the GoldenEye cartridge: Trust us, they’ll make it.

Know any other tips for encouraging men to join a group Bible study? Let us know in the comments!

NOT SATIRE: RECLAIM THE MAN.

Join thousands of Christian men reclaiming their lives through Scripture, discipline, brotherhood, and the historic rhythms of the Church.

Use code BABYLONBEE for 10% off your first payment.

The Babylon Bee finally exposes everything about the Jews in this documentary of hard-hitting investigative journalism.