In 1 Kings 19, the prophet Elijah does something extremely relatable.
Discouraged, burned-out, and fearful for his life, he collapses in the presence of God and unloads. In verse 4 he declares, “I have had enough! Lord, take my life.” In verse 10 he elaborates on his despair, essentially saying, “I have worked so hard for you, but no one has listened to me. Your people have rejected you, and your prophets, and I’m the only one left.”
Elijah’s despair in this moment is understandable. Jezebel, the notorious wife of King Ahab, has slaughtered many of the Lord’s prophets, and now she is coming for him. Anyone in his position would be terrified.
Poor, Poor Pitiful Me
However, fear is not the only emotion Elijah is experiencing in this moment. In addition to panic and despair, there is also self-pity.
Notice, for instance, how quickly Elijah gives up. He has been in public ministry for only three years, and during that time he has participated in miracle after miracle. He raised a woman’s son from the dead. He humiliated the prophets of Baal and oversaw their execution. When he was hungry, God sent ravens to feed him. Ravens. By any measure, Elijah is extraordinarily favored by God. He succeeds in all that he does, in the most dazzling displays of spiritual power imaginable. Everything he touches turns to gold.
Until it doesn’t, and then we see a very different side of Elijah. At the first major obstacle in his ministry, Elijah collapses into despair. He wants to give up, and he even wants to die. This is the first cue that Elijah’s vision is beginning to warp.
I’m Alone in This World
But it doesn’t stop there. He makes the unsubstantiated claim that all of God’s people have turned away and that he is the only prophet left. This, too, is not reality. In 1 Kings 18:13 — just one chapter earlier — Obadiah tells Elijah that one hundred other prophets have been spared, which means Elijah knows he is not the only prophet left. Elijah knows he is not alone.
In other words, these sweeping statements about his superiority and isolation are not factual statements but emotional ones. In his fatigue, Elijah is rewriting the story, and one sign that he is doing this is the many “I” statements he uses in chapter 19:
“I have had enough! Lord, take my life” (v. 4).
“I’m no better than my ancestors” (v. 4).
“I have been very zealous for the Lord God of Armies, but the Israelites have abandoned your covenant” (v. 10).
“I alone am left” (v. 10).
Enough About You, Lord. What About Me?
Elijah is a prophet of the Lord, but the primary story he is telling is a story about himself. In his version, he is the protagonist. He is the center. And this tells us a lot about what is going on in his interior world. Studies show that this sort of me-centered language, in which a person constantly references themselves, is an indicator of depression and other mental illness. Whenever we find ourselves spiraling into narratives featuring “I, I, I” or “me, me, me” language, we can take that as a good indicator that something inside of us is unwell.
That said, this me-centered language is not simply a “check engine light.” Self-centered scripts fuel our insecurities as well. When we are at the center of our own stories — “What do they think of me?” Why didn’t they include me? Why doesn’t anyone appreciate me?” — we begin to lose perspective not because thinking about ourselves is inherently wrong or misguided but because it stops us from being able to see anything else.
That is exactly what happens to Elijah. His self-focus becomes his entire focus. He cannot see God’s faithfulness in the past, nor does he remember the other remaining prophets. Instead, he narrates a distorted version of reality because he is using himself — and how he is feeling at the moment — as his primary lens.
Elijah’s story is thus a cautionary tale, challenging us to pay attention to our own scripts. Whenever we process our experiences of insecurity or pain, we would be wise to notice how much of our story is centered on ourselves. We can ask, “How much of the story is about me? How they didn’t consider me? How they didn’t apologize to me?”
Perhaps that script is an important indicator that there is something else going on underneath — something you need to take to the foot of the cross.
Adapted from Gazing at God by Sharon Hodde Miller. Copyright © 2025 by Sharon Hodde Miller. Published by BakerBooks. Used by permission. Listen to her insightful interview on LIFE Today Live.
