U.S. — With SNAP funding temporarily blocked, beneficiaries of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program are reportedly wishing there were some way to trade their labor and services for money to buy food.
“That would be really convenient,” said Sarah Hartford, a divorced mother of two kids. “But I guess I’ll just sit here and starve to death. There’s literally no other way to make money.”
“If only there were some sort of social contract I could enter into where I complete certain tasks in exchange for money that I could then use to buy food,” noted Antoine Davis, a 43-year-old bachelor. “If only.”
Some of the more privileged members of society encouraged lower-income families to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps”, a statement that has been criticized for being confusing. “What’s a bootstrap?” asked one deadbeat father. “How does pulling it get me a beer?”
According to sources, SNAP beneficiaries have expressed bewilderment as to how anyone else makes money to feed themselves. “Are they just really good at finding coins? That’s how I get my money, I run around town jumping and collecting coins,” said Morro Hermano of Los Angeles.
Note: All SNAP interviewees were paid for their time with free hot dogs.
What happens when a politically divided family sit down for a “peaceful” dinner?
