NIGERIA — President Trump has given dozens of ISIS terrorists the gift of getting to meet Allah for Christmas.
After giving much thought to what they would like, Trump decided there was simply no better gift than sending them to meet Allah.
“A one-way ticket to Allah! They’re going to love this,” said Trump as he wrote “Merry Christmas” on the missiles destined for Nigeria. “No one gives better gifts then me, your favorite President. It’s a beautiful gift, very expensive, let me tell you. I spent millions of dollars on it, but it will all be worth it for the looks on their faces. It’s so nice, I don’t think anyone will be regifting this one.”
Dubbed “Operation Santa Trump”, the military helped deliver Trump’s presents to several sites in Nigeria with incredible precision. “It feels good, giving back,” said Air Force pilot Lieutenant Dan “Firefly” Rogers. “We all need help sometimes getting away from thinking about ourselves, and the whole commercialization of Christmas. When you pull the trigger to send gifts like that, it brings the meaning of Christmas home.”
At publishing time, the dead terrorists had discovered that Allah had a different name and was not quite what they had in mind.
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