TEHRAN — As Iranian protestors were shot dead in the streets, President Trump made good on his promise to come to their aid by having thousands of “Make Iran Great Again” hats airdropped all over the country.
At approximately 5 a.m., a dozen C-130 Hercules transport aircraft breached Iranian airspace and began unloading thousands upon thousands of MIGA hats for the persecuted Iranian people to wear immediately.
“I took a very strong action today against the evil Iranian regime by giving the protestors some new hats,” Trump said. “Not just new, but good. They’re good hats. I call them MIGA hats. They’re like MAGA hats, but for Iran.”
Reports on the ground confirmed the sky was full of hats, so many, in fact, that it nearly blocked out the sun as Iranian forces executed helpless protestors. “It’s the Americans! They heard our cries!” said Sara Rahimi as she tore off her hijab and put on a handcrafted, limited edition MIGA hat.
Per a White House representative, the hats are meant to serve as a compromise between administration officials who want to bomb Iran and those who prefer diplomacy. “These hats are more powerful than any bomb,” said Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. “Promises made, promises kept.”
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