LONDON — British citizens have politely asked if perhaps they could be next on the list for liberation from radical Islam.
As they watched the crumbling Iranian government teeter after heavy military strikes overnight, the British populace yearned for someone to also come to their rescue.
“We see what those militaries have done for others, and we want that for us too,” said local Englishman Dane Marcus. “Please, good sirs. Our country is no different than Iran, our citizenry subjugated by the vicious forces of radical Islam – only we talk in a much cooler accent. Come free us!”
The request for liberation has been delivered to President Trump, who is reportedly still considering military action. “What’s happened in England, it’s terrible. They’ve lost all their rights, it’s like a third-world country, it’s very sad,” said Trump. “But, they’ve also treated me poorly, really nasty, to be honest. These British, they’ve said terrible things about me, your favorite President. I’m not sure they deserve to have me free them. Maybe they should have thought about how they talked to me before they went and got themselves conquered by radical Islamists.”
At publishing time, Trump had decided to just liberate his English golf courses and put a little American base in the clubhouse.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
