PERSIAN GULF — In a sign of enormous good will, American forces helpfully converted 20 Iranian warships into submarines.
“Several Iranian warships are not sitting at the bottom of the Persian Gulf,” reported War Secretary Pete Hegseth. “We hope the Iranian people take this complimentary act as a sign of good faith on our part that we are eager to resume negotiations and end this conflict.”
As part of Operation Epic Fury, American submarines approached several Iranian frigates and corvette-class ships under the cover of darkness to carefully convert them to submersible watercraft with the use of Mk-48 heavyweight torpedoes.
“Did you know Iran had zero submarines? Zero submarines, it’s true,” President Trump said, following the successful mission. “Now they have at least twenty and more on the way. You’re welcome, Iran!”
Unfortunately, according to sources, Iranian leadership had not interpreted the American’s benevolent gift as well as Trump had hoped. In fact, the latest intel suggests Iran didn’t like their ships being sent to the depths of the ocean at all.
At publishing time, President Trump, though hurt by Iran’s ungratefulness, vowed to helpfully turn their city into a parking lot.
Governor Gavin Newsom understands the struggle!
