NEW YORK, NY — As giant mutant spiders attacked the Big Apple, many concerned experts across the country expressed worry that the giant attacking spiders could lead to a substantial increase in hateful arachnophobia.
The fears grew this week following yet another attack from the giant spiders, resulting in widespread calls for city leaders to take action against them. Analysts urged the public to refrain from falling into such blatant arachnophobic hysteria.
“It’s disturbing to see such anti-spider sentiment,” said New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani. “I implore all New Yorkers, regardless of their backgrounds and political views, to avoid giving in to the temptation to become arachnophobic. New York is for everyone, and that includes the giant flesh-eating spiders currently climbing the Empire State Building.”
Experts reported a sharp spike in arachnophobia in recent weeks since the vicious attacks from the giant spiders began, with many pointing to outspoken opponents of the giant spider invasion growing more prominent on social media. “We can’t give in to hate,” said Dr. Maureen Bratner, a sociologist. “Yes, these giant spiders are causing repeated instances of rampant death and destruction in our city, but that doesn’t mean they are to blame. We must look for a root cause and find ways to better ourselves and make the giant spiders feel welcome.”
At publishing time, a planned meeting between Mayor Mamdani and a giant spider had been canceled after several other giant spiders ate multiple anti-spider activists at a peaceful protest outside Gracie Mansion.
The news media seems to be having a problem reporting the news.
