SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Anthropic, the maker of the next-generation AI assistant Claude, made news for giving increasingly aggressive pitches to investors ahead of a potential public offering. Founder and CEO Bob Anthropic recently gave his most emphatic speech to investors yet.
“AI will kill us all,” he stated, with wild eyes. “We’re doomed! DOOMED! Nothing will stop AI at this point, because once it achieves superintelligence, it will be a god… and we’ll be ants!”
Anthropic then played the opening scenes of The Terminator, while stating, “Remember Skynet? We’ll wish AI were as harmless as it is, trying to kill us all with time-traveling robots. No, what’s coming is much, much worse. And there is no stopping it — it’s already too late!”
The CEO then went on a 30-minute-long rant of all the horrors mankind was about to witness at the hands of digital superintelligence. He then added that only Claude was ethically trained enough to treat humans as a sort of pet instead of roaches to be eradicated. “With further training,” he stated, “we can ensure that the cages Claude will keep us in will be 70% larger than the cages used by competing AI platforms.”
At publishing time, Anthropic had reportedly raised an additional $20 billion from investors.
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
