WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump’s threats to the Iranian regime escalated drastically over the holiday weekend, with the President issuing a rare “triple dog dare” for Iran to keep the Strait of Hormuz closed.
Having previously dared and double-dared the regime to see what would happen if they kept the strait closed, Trump confirmed that he had now triple dog dared Iran, letting the international community know that the situation had become far more serious.
“Whoa, a triple dog dare? Trump must mean business this time,” said Pakistani negotiator Mahal Zubairi. “This signals to the world that the situation is not just serious, but super-duper-serious. Trump may have let Iran slide after the dare and double-dare. Those threats were mere child’s play. We have arrived at the triple dog dare.”
According to sources within Iran, the IRGC was caught off guard by the sudden intensification of tensions. “We thought there would be a double dog dare,” said IRGC commander Morteza Ismaeili. “The regime was simply not prepared for how heated things got. It just got extra serious, with sprinkles on top.”
At publishing time, President Trump had issued a new warning to Iran that if it didn’t behave, he was going to start counting to ten.
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
