Gross: California Prison Inmates Caught Using iPads To Watch San Francisco Giants Games

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Disturbing reports out of the San Francisco County Detention Center revealed that inmates were using their iPad access to watch the San Francisco Giants.

While inmates have been caught in the past looking up lewd content, prison officials have never dealt with convicts accessing anything as obscene as the San Francisco Giants.

“That sort of content should never make its way to prisoners,” said Sheriff Deputy Michael Pollack. “I have personally reviewed the footage of the San Francisco Giants, and it is truly the most vulgar and indecent thing I have ever witnessed. We deeply apologize for the oversight and promise to never let it happen again.”

For its part, Major League Baseball apologized to anyone subjected to the San Francisco Giants and announced that a “TV-MA” rating would be added to all future Giants games. “While felons may have enjoyed that twisted free-for-all, many fans were left trying to claw their own eyes out,” said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. “We are sorry for airing such depraved deviancy without warning, and have asked the Giants to please keep the on-field orgies to a minimum.”

At publishing time, prisoners had been caught trying to get their fix by watching the similarly offensive Premier League soccer.