Christian Living
Study: Majority Of Christians Will Replace Holy Spirit With ChatGPT By 2028
U.S. — According to a new study conducted by the Barna Group, a majority of Christians were likely to replace the Holy Spirit with ChatGPT by the year 2028.Polling data showed an increasing interest among Christians in "taking control of…
Man Wondering What The Prayers Of A Not-So-Righteous Man Availeth
PANHANDLE, TX — Though glad to know from Scripture that the prayers of a righteous man availeth much, local man Josh Peterson wondered what exactly the prayers of a not-that-righteous man like himself availeth.While happy for whoever out there…
Children’s Bible Noticeably Vague On Rahab’s Backstory
GARY, IN — As Liam Miles cracked open a copy of The Beginner's Bible to read to his son, he couldn't help but notice that the text was noticeably vague on the backstory for Rahab the Harlot.In a section titled "Joshua and the…
God Decides To Flood Earth Again After KFC Releases Oreo Chicken Sandwich
HEAVEN — Heavenly sources report that the Lord has decided it is once again time to wipe out most of humanity after Kentucky Fried Chicken released the Oreo Chicken Sandwich."The earth cries out for justice," Angel Clement C. Harding…
Woman Praying That The Lord’s Will Be Done As Long As It’s The Same As Her Will
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY — A local woman reportedly dedicated herself to praying day and night that the Lord's will be done for her, but only so long as it is the same as her will.Britney Peters, 26, began basing her prayers on the Lord's…
Check Out This Absolute FOOL Walking Around With His Loins Ungirded LOOOOOL
Get a load of this complete IDIOT who spent the ENTIRE WEEK walking around with his loins completely ungirded. Have you ever seen such a dope?! Come on, man.This FOOL, this nincompoop, just walked around, loins all free, totally unprepared for a…
Confirmed: Reel Of All Your Life’s Bloopers To Be Played When You Arrive In Heaven
ETERNITY — According to heavenly sources, the newly deceased who enter into the Lord's rest are shown a blooper reel that spans their entire lives for everyone to laugh at.Hot off the heels of judgment, newcomers in Heaven must also sit…
Man Sent To Hell After Phone Autocorrects His Text Message To ‘Praise Fod’
HADES — A man was sent straight to Hell after his new phone autocorrected his text message from "Praise God" to "Praise Fod."Jared Cain, 39, now in Hell, regretted the fateful text message exchange in which he forfeited his…
Annoying: Man’s Faith In God’s Plan Is Getting in the Way of His Political Doomerism
KAYSVILLE, UT — Local Christian man Greg Moffat expressed annoyance this week over the fact that his faith in God's goodness continues to get in the way of sinking into despair over the state of American politics."I want to descend…
Heaven Confirms Prayer Hands Emoji Counts As Actually Praying For Someone
HEAVEN — Millions breathed a sigh of relief today as Heavenly sources confirmed that sending a prayer hands emoji counts exactly the same as actually praying for someone.According to the report, spending two seconds pressing an emoji button…