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Shire Doctors Link High Cancer Rate To Use Of Pipeweed
MICHEL DELVING — According to the Gaffer, medical professionals published a paper linking the high rate of cancer among Hobbits to the smoking of pipeweed, a correlation he called "queer.""I read a paper about it, I did, and they…
Judge Dismisses Comey, James Indictments — But Charges Could Be Brought Again: Report
According to a Fox News report, federal Judge Cameron Currie found that Lindsey Halligan could not charge James Comey and Letitia James. Halligan was ruled an invalid U.S. attorney. Currie dismissed the false-statement charges against Comey and…
Slovenia Rejects Referendum Legalizing Assisted Suicide
In an apparent change of mind, Slovenians have opposed an assisted suicide law after a binding referendum rejected legislation that was passed by their National Assembly earlier this year, as well as a non-binding referendum in support of…
Chicago Kicks Off Holiday Season By Unveiling Festive Red And Green Crime-Scene Tape
CHICAGO, IL — Residents of the Windy City noticed that it was beginning to look a lot like Christmas these days, as the Chicago Police Department kicked off the holiday season by unveiling festive red and green crime scene tape.The tell-tale…
Woman Brings Home World’s Most Effective, Adorable Alarm Clock
LANSING, MI — Local woman Mildred Donavon reportedly impressed her friends and family this week when she brought home the world's most effective and affordable alarm clock."My new clock wakes me up at the exact time it needs attention,…
Suspicions Raised As Wormtongue’s X Account Reveals He’s Based In Isengard
Suspicions were raised around the internet as Wormtongue's X account was revealed to have been created in Isengard.Gríma, son of Gálmód, who goes by the handle "@Real_Grima6701" on X, has long been the trusted chief advisor to the…
Trump To Execute All Turkeys Pardoned By Biden’s Autopen
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Anguished gobbles were heard throughout the Beltway this morning, after news broke that President Donald Trump would be executing all the turkeys pardoned by former President Joe Biden's autopen.Though the annual…
KELLY COURT-MARTIAL? Pentagon Threatens Action Against Senator Over ‘Refuse Illegal Orders’ Video
The Department of War announced Monday that it has launched a formal review into allegations of misconduct against Democratic Sen. Mark Kelly of Arizona following a video in which he urged service members to “refuse illegal orders.” Pentagon…
Zelenskyy Open to Trump Peace Plan Even as Europe Bristles
By Wallace White Published on November 24, 2025 Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is reportedly open to discussing President Donald Trump’s new peace proposal, despite negative reactions from European leaders. The Trump administration…
First Lady Melania Trump Welcomes White House Christmas Tree
First Lady Melania Trump is set to welcome the official White House Christmas tree early Monday afternoon in a holiday tradition that marks the start of the season in Washington. The tree — a 25-foot concolor fir from Korson’s Tree Farms in…