Scripture
Moses Threatens Pharaoh With Plague Of Unskippable YouTube Ads
EGYPT — A remarkable discovery in what was formerly the Biblical land of Goshen indicated that, in addition to the traditional 10 plagues mentioned in the book of Exodus, Moses also threatened Pharaoh with a plague of unskippable YouTube…
Moses Threatens Pharaoh With Plague Of Unskippable YouTube Ads
EGYPT — A remarkable discovery in what was formerly the Biblical land of Goshen indicated that, in addition to the traditional 10 plagues mentioned in the book of Exodus, Moses also threatened Pharaoh with a plague of unskippable YouTube…
Disciples Shocked As Apostle Paul Returns From Prison Tattooed And Totally Ripped
PHILIPPI — According to sources, the disciples at Lydia's house were shocked to see that Paul had returned from prison covered in tattoos and "totally ripped".Paul and his missionary partner Silas were arrested for allegedly…
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over
JUDEA — In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy times seven" times. Unfortunately, after forgiving him 73 times, Peter reportedly lost…
Bible Scholars Now Believe David Yelled, ‘Kobe!’ While Hucking Stone At Goliath
VALLEY OF ELAH — A group of theologians and biblical scholars recently concluded that there was reason to believe that David yelled "Kobe!" while hucking a stone at Goliath.Archaeologists uncovered a pottery shard inscribed in…
After Observing Adam For Two Minutes, God Decides Man’s Going To Need A Helper
EDEN — According to Heavenly sources, a final decision was made to provide a helper suitable for Adam after observing him for just two minutes.Adam had already stubbed his toe and misplaced a cool stick he'd found just moments after he came…
Angel Still Guarding Eden With Flaming Sword Wondering If He Can Move Yet
EDEN — Having gone an inordinate length of time standing watch in the same place for many, many years, the angel guarding the Garden of Eden with a flaming sword reportedly started wondering if he could move yet.Having been assigned to guard the…
Jesus Ignites Fierce Debate By Feeding 5,000 People For Under $20
BETHSAIDA — Reports confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth had successfully fed a crowd of 5,000 men, plus women and children, using just five barley loaves and two small fish, achieving an estimated cost-per-serving of approximately $0.0039.While the…
New Progressive Bible Features Perforated Pages For Easy Removal Of Parts You Don’t Like
U.S. — Christians with strong liberal leanings were abuzz with excitement this week, as a publisher introduced a new Progressive Bible that features perforated pages for easy removal of parts you don't like.With each page perforated,…
James Talarico Tells Us His 9 Favorite Bible Verses
You may think you know the Bible, but boy does Texas Senate candidate James Talarico have news for you. There are so many incredible truths hidden in Scripture that Talarico has discovered, and it's his great delight to share those with the…