Sports
NCAA Confirms College Football Playoff Selections Made By Alcoholic Penguin
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — In the wake of controversy over teams being snubbed and left out of the postseason championship tournament, the NCAA reluctantly confirmed that the College Football Playoff selections were made by an alcoholic penguin.While…
Minnesota Vikings Change Name To Minnesota Somali Pirates
EAGAN, MN — In a move intended to better reflect the state's modern demographics and generate more interest in the team from the populace, the Minnesota Vikings announced that they were changing their name to the Minnesota Somali…
Embarrassed Cleveland Browns Suddenly Realize They Forgot To Put A Logo On Their Helmets This Whole Time
BEREA, OH — After existing as a known sports entity for over 80 years, the Cleveland Browns embarrassingly admitted that they had only recently come to the sudden realization that they had forgotten to put a logo on their helmets this whole…
With Most Players Arrested For Gambling, Air Bud Finally Called Up To NBA
MIAMI, FL — Now that a majority of players have been arrested on charges of illegal sports gambling, the Miami Heat announced that the golden retriever affectionately known as "Air Bud" had finally been called up to play in the…
Olympics Change Trans Policies After Watching Old ‘Mister Rogers’ Episode
LAUSANNE — The International Olympic Committee (IOC) formally revoked the right of transgender athletes to participate in sporting events of the gender they identify with after watching an old episode of Mister Rogers'…
Man Can’t Wait To Be Disappointed By His Favorite Baseball Team’s Offseason Moves
KANSAS CITY, MO — With the conclusion of the World Series, the Major League Baseball season had officially come to an end, leaving one local man looking forward to being sorely disappointed by his favorite team's offseason moves.Tom Kimmel,…
Ex Mobster Breaks Down NBA Gambling Scandal
By The Stream Published on November 5, 2025 In this 29-minute video, ex-mobster Michael Franzese breaks down the NBA gambling scandal that just broke – Terry Rozier, Chauncey Billups, and 34 others arrested in a massive FBI operation targeting…
Canada Orders Toronto Blue Jays Players Euthanized
TORONTO — Following the team's devastating loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 7 of the 2025 World Series, the Canadian government announced that it had ordered the players from the Toronto Blue Jays to be euthanized.As is standard…
Pope Leo Canonizes The 1996-98 Chicago Bulls
VATICAN CITY — In a move that drew criticism of bias toward his hometown teams, Pope Leo XIV officially canonized the 1996-98 Chicago Bulls.The legendary NBA championship team that has long been discussed as arguably the greatest of all time…
Trump To Grant Canada Independence If Blue Jays Win World Series
TORONTO — The stakes for the final two games of the Major League Baseball season grew even higher this week, as President Donald Trump announced that he would grant Canada independence if the Blue Jays won the World Series.Toronto took a 3-2…