Sports
WNBA Forced To Admit Kanter Is A Woman After He Causes Big Dramatic Scene
U.S. — After Enes Kanter caused a big dramatic scene in public, the WNBA was forced to admit that the former NBA player is indeed a woman.With tears shed amid screams followed by the silent treatment, the episode left no doubt about Enes…
Numerous Casualties At Park In Bloody Turf War Between Tennis Players And Pickleballers
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Authorities responded on Friday afternoon to an apparent turf war at Kenwood Park, where tennis players and pickleballers fought to the death over the right to use the park's facilities.According to authorities, 12 people…
WNBA Subreddit Bans Any Mention Of ‘Women’
U.S. — The online Reddit community of WNBA fans announced that it had officially banned any and all mention of "women."From this point forward, any reference made by a user to the female sex in any capacity will result in an immediate…
WNBA Fans Told to Cover Women’s-Sports Shirts
A mother and daughter say Atlanta Dream security threatened to eject them from Sunday’s WNBA game because other fans found their women’s-sports T-shirts “offensive.” Georgia residents Kasey Thomason and her daughter, Annie, attended the Dream’s…
Clark Grins After Reese Misses Game-Winning Layup
Caitlin Clark may have created the WNBA’s next great meme. An ESPN camera caught the Indiana Fever star grinning behind a devastated Angel Reese moments after Reese missed a point-blank putback that could have won Sunday night’s thriller in…
Kentucky Derby Convenes Committee To Determine What Is A Horse
LOUISVILLE, KY — Churchill Downs Inc. (CDI), which manages the annual Kentucky Derby race, formed a committee this week to answer a question which would determine the future of horse races forever: what is a horse?CDI CEO William Carstanjen…
WNBA Changes League Name To ?NBA
U.S. — After failing to arrive at a definition of "woman", the WNBA has officially changed the name of the league to ?NBA.League officials felt the change better represented the lack of clarity over what sort of "national…
Sad: WNBA Task Force Fails To Define Woman After Spending Entire Meeting Trying To Pick Restaurant For Lunch
LOS ANGELES, CA — A special WNBA task force announced on Thursday that they had been unable to define a woman after several hours of meetings led to a stalemate on where to go to lunch."We tried to get to the topic at hand, but mostly we…
White Privilege: Black Player Ejected Just For Shooting Sophie Cunningham With Rocket Launcher
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — In an overt and disgusting display of white privilege, a black WNBA player was ejected from a game for merely shooting her opponent Sophie Cunningham with a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher.With six minutes remaining in the…
New Study Reveals NFL’s Concussion-Prevention Helmets Are 100% Effective At Preventing Players From Looking Cool
U.S. — A new study from the New York Sports Science Laboratory demonstrated that the NFL's new concussion-prevention helmets were proven to be 100% effective at keeping players from looking cool.According to the data gathered, every single…