U.S.
Trump Makes 73rd Trip To Home Depot Since Start Of White House Renovation
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As demo and construction continued on the highly publicized construction project to build a new White House ballroom, a new report said President Donald Trump had already made his 73rd trip to Home Depot since the start of the…
Trump Unveils White House Water Slide
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced this week that as part of the White House renovation, he will be installing a giant water slide on the roof that will go all the way down to the Rose Garden."Our country has been without a…
Trump Declares White House ‘ICE Free Zone’ Until Construction On New Ballroom Is Done
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has declared the White House a no-go zone for ICE raids until construction is completed on the new ballroom.Trump assured all the construction workers on site that everything would be cool so long as they were…
Black Bears Demand To Be Referred To As ‘Bears Of Color’
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a historic move, California's famous black bears, in cooperation with the NAACP, met on the steps of the state capitol to demand that they now be referred to as "Bears of Color.""For too long our people…
White House Construction Crew Finds 1,357 More Cocaine Stashes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Construction workers tasked with building a new White House Ballroom reportedly discovered 1,357 stashes of cocaine hidden within the walls and ceilings of the East Wing.Work on the project was briefly postponed on Tuesday…
Here Are All The Things Accomplished By Last Weekend’s ‘No Kings’ Protests
Thanks to all of the "No Kings" protests that took place across the United States over the weekend, we now live in a completely different world. There isn't enough time or space to detail all of the earth-shattering things that…
SUCCESS: After Weekend Of ‘No Kings’ Protests, America Will Now Still Not Have Any Kings
U.S. — The countrywide "No Kings" protests are being hailed as an unmitigated success as after two days of rallies, America still does not have any kings.Organizers praised the rallies as a historic accomplishment after not one single…
Millions Gather To Express Total Ignorance About Political System
U.S. — Millions of Americans took to the streets today in order to express to the world their total and absolute ignorance about the political system they live in.Several major cities including Boston, New York City and Chicago saw over one…
RFK Orders Airstrike On Cargo Ship Full Of Tylenol
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of HHS Robert F. Kennedy Jr. ordered an airstrike on a cargo ship full of Tylenol attempting to reach the American coast.Declassified video showed Predator drones striking the ship with multiple Hellfire missiles,…
Zelenskyy Tries To Catch Glimpse Of Trump By Climbing White House Sycamore Tree
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy was reportedly invited to an official meeting in the Oval Office today after President Trump spotted him climbing a sycamore tree outside the White House just to see him.According to…