U.S.
The Bee Reports: ICE’s 7 Most Horrifying Atrocities
With tensions continuing to mount over ICE operations in Minneapolis, the journalists at The Babylon Bee are on the ground to document the despicable actions carried out by ICE agents. Here are the seven most horrifying atrocities that we have…
Pam Bondi Says She Has Finally Figured Out What DOJ Stands For
U.S. — Attorney General Pam Bondi has announced that after almost a year on the job, she has finally figured out what the acronym "DOJ" stands for."It stands for 'Department of Justice.' That's really neat,"…
Minnesota Arrests Churchgoers For Interrupting Protest
SAINT PAUL, MN — The controversy that erupted over last Sunday morning was finally addressed by authorities, as Minnesota leaders ordered the arrest of churchgoers for interrupting a leftist protest.Following the incident in which journalist Don…
Trump To Convert Entire City Of Minneapolis Into Insane Asylum
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of the executive order to bring back mental institutions, President Trump announced this morning that he would begin by converting the entire city of Minneapolis into an insane asylum.The new executive order aims to…
After Learning Of Anti-ICE Target Protest, Wife Announces She Too Will Stand Up For Immigrants By Spending All Day In Target
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — After seeing reports of an anti-ICE protest at a Minnesota Target, local wife Beth Harris announced she would also stand up for the plights of immigrants by spending a day in Target."I care deeply about the issues,"…
Subarus Now Come With Built-In ICE Tracker
U.S. — To keep up with popular consumer trends and make products more appealing to the company's customer base, Subaru announced that all models will now come standard with a built-in ICE tracker.The new feature comes as an increasing…
Don Lemon Immediately Bursts Into Flames Upon Entering Church
SAINT PAUL, MN — An already traumatic incident turned even worse on Sunday, as former CNN personality and apparent left-wing protest ringleader Don Lemon immediately burst into flames upon entering a church.Chaos erupted during the morning…
Pam Bondi Promises To Prosecute Minnesota Rioters As Soon As She Finishes Releasing All Those Epstein Files
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the American public demanding action be taken by the government in response to aggressive and violent leftist protests across the country, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi promised to prosecute Minnesota rioters as soon as…
Minnesota Changes Official State Bird To Screaming Lesbian
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Following recent developments stemming from political protests and clashes with the federal government across the state, Minnesota announced that it had changed the official state bird to a screaming lesbian.After the recent…
Ominous Sign? New Army Recruitment Ads Say ‘Visit Lovely Greenland’
U.S. — In yet another potentially ominous sign that President Donald Trump was dead-set on the United States acquiring the territory for strategic and national security purposes, new U.S. Army recruitment ads offered prospective enlistees the…