U.S.
Minnesota Changes Official State Bird To Screaming Lesbian
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Following recent developments stemming from political protests and clashes with the federal government across the state, Minnesota announced that it had changed the official state bird to a screaming lesbian.After the recent…
Ominous Sign? New Army Recruitment Ads Say ‘Visit Lovely Greenland’
U.S. — In yet another potentially ominous sign that President Donald Trump was dead-set on the United States acquiring the territory for strategic and national security purposes, new U.S. Army recruitment ads offered prospective enlistees the…
Ketanji Brown Jackson Arrives At Work In Official SCOTUS Short Bus
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson arrived for work at the Supreme Court building this morning in the official, yellow SCOTUS short bus.Onlookers cheered as Jackson emerged from the bus, after several minutes of trying to figure…
Supreme Court Justices Bring In Ms. Rachel To Explain Cases To Ketanji Brown Jackson
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With arguments being presented on issues that will have far-reaching effects on shaping the future of American laws, society, and culture, the other eight Supreme Court justices brought in Ms. Rachel to explain cases to…
U.S. Offers To Trade Its Liberal Women For Iranian Women
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of ongoing efforts to improve things in both countries, the United States reportedly made an official diplomatic offer to trade all of its liberal women for Iranian women.According to highly placed sources,…
Protesters Protest For Higher Protesting Wage
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Protesters hard at work sowing chaos in the city because of ICE raids and the death of Renee Good have reportedly transitioned over to protesting for a higher protesting wage."Protesting is hard. You have to make clever…
Gotham’s Liberal Women Gather Outside Arkham To Protest Arrest Of The Joker
GOTHAM CITY — Justice faced a new obstacle in the wake of the Batman's latest daring feat, as Gotham's liberal women gathered outside Arkham Asylum to protest the vigilante's arrest of the Joker.Sources close to the GCPD's…
Liberals Now Living In Fear Of Being Senselessly Shot By ICE Agents They’re Running Over
U.S. — Following the events in Minneapolis this past week, liberals across America are now living under the constant terror of being senselessly shot by the ICE agents they're hitting with cars.Many liberals will not even go outside,…
ICE Agents Disguise Themselves As Capitol Police So Democrats Will Defend Them
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — According to witnesses, federal ICE agents shifted their tactics slightly by donning Capitol Police uniforms so that Democrats would start defending them from being harmed."I wish we had thought of this sooner," one…
Somalis Demand Americans Stop Judging Them By The Content Of Their Character
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Representatives of the Somali community issued a statement demanding that Americans stop judging them by the content of their character.The statement further asserts that their skin color and national origin should entitle them…