WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Democrat response to President Trump’s State of the Union address will reportedly be delivered by Bad Bunny, sources confirmed Tuesday.
“We wanted to pick someone who embodied the American spirit, and there’s no one better than a Puerto Rican who dresses in drag and only speaks in Spanish,” Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said.
According to sources, the SOTU response was originally going to be delivered by Virginia Governor Abigail Spanberger, but Democratic leadership quietly pushed her aside to promote Bad Bunny, whom many are calling a modern-day Martin Luther King.
Sources provided a preview of the speech, which opens with “Aay, Aay, Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, Aay.”
“Bad Bunny is the greatest living artist, orator, and civil rights leader this country has ever seen,” said Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “He’s not beholden to America or Israel. Free Palestine!”
“¿Que?” said Bad Bunny when asked about the primary focus of his speech.
At publishing time, in response to the Democrats’ plan, President Trump announced he would have Kid Rock deliver his speech.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
