Goodyear Blimp Barely Recognizable After Going On Ozempic

CARSON, CA — The famous Goodyear Blimp has become nearly unrecognizable after starting the popular weight-loss drug Ozempic.

The blimp could be seen hovering around Southern California, looking withered and thin after losing an impressive 50,000 cubic feet of air in just under six months. Friends close to the Goodyear Blimp say their comrade began taking Ozempic to lose a few pounds, but now looks like a completely new, somewhat wrinkled version of its former self.

“Man, Goodyear used to be so full, so round,” friend Conrad Pliskin said. “I can’t get over how shriveled and emaciated it looks now. We’re all a little worried, to be honest. I think it’s taken it a bit too far.”

The iconic Goodyear Blimp began circling the United States early in the 20th century and has since become a household name. Many versions of the blimp have existed throughout its history, though none so thin and rumpled as the current version.

“Aw, no!” Goodyear Blimp fan Cameron Totes remarked. “Look at it! It’s just hovering, with all that loose canvas just hanging there. It’s not natural, man.”

At publishing time, the Goodyear Blimp had reportedly told friends it had never felt better about itself and was hoping to lose just a few more pounds.