GENEVA — Amid ongoing negotiations over Tehran’s nuclear program, Iran’s Supreme Leader unequivocally informed the United States that they would rain death and destruction down upon them if they were bombed two more times. Maybe three.
Secretary of State Marco Rubio maintained a strict stance on Iran’s nuclear program, demanding that the regime immediately halt uranium enrichment and stop being so mean. His seemingly immovable stance, however, appeared to agitate Iranian envoys who reportedly argued for wiggle room on the idea of no nuclear weapons.
“We have a right to nuclear capabilities, the same as you or Israel,” the Ayatollah later said in a statement read on Iranian state television. “I swear by Allah, if you bomb us two more times, you will pay. I know we said that last time, and then you bombed us, but this time, we are super serious.”
Iran, which was last bombed by American forces the previous year, has thus far presented no real counter to the U.S., with its standing army instead spending most of its time killing its own citizens.
“You see what we do to our own people. Imagine if that were you!” negotiators reportedly told Rubio and envoy Steve Witkoff. “Care to find out? Bomb us two more times, we dare you. No, we triple dog dare you.”
At publishing time, the Ayatollah had issued a threat that the U.S. didn’t even want to know what would happen if they got bombed an eighth time.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
