Karen Bass Endorsed By California Wildfires

LOS ANGELES, CA — Mayor Karen Bass received a glowing endorsement from California wildfires over the weekend, with thousands of acres of burned timber throwing their support behind Bass’s re-election campaign.

According to campaign sources, the endorsement has locked up support for Bass among burning trees, scorched roads, and the ashes of people’s former homes.

“I’m honored to gain the support of California’s wildfires. It’s a statement of confidence in the leadership we showed throughout the last fire season,” Bass told reporters. “As your mayor, I am not here to only represent Democratic fires. I am here to be the voice for all of the fires that burn down our cities. I pledge to continue the great work this administration has done to make this city as hospitable as possible to all fires everywhere.”

Mayor Bass won the endorsement over several other pro-fire candidates due to her long history of working with the state’s wildfires. “It was a tough decision,” reported a small wildfire who was preparing for the upcoming season. “We have a lot of support for our burning the city down, except from that one Pratt guy. It’s frankly disgusting to still be facing anti-fire bigotry in the year 2026.”

At publishing time, Mayor Bass had also received the endorsement of used hypodermic needles.