LINDALE, TX — Surprising many, a preacher at New Wine Community Church held up a three-year-old child’s crappy Sunday school drawing and declared that it was pleasing to Jesus.
“I tell you, that unless you draw with the same heart as this child, nothing you do will be pleasing to the Lord,” evangelist Michael Faraday said.
According to sources, Sunday school teacher Nancy Wells refused to hang up the picture, claiming it looked like a UFO. The discarded drawing drew the attention of Faraday, who thought he could use it in his sermon. The simple illustration, itself used as a simple illustration, reportedly failed to convince church membership, however. They were astonished by the strange teaching, quite sure they could draw a much better picture.
“The ocean is purple. How would Jesus be happy with a purple ocean?” questioned longtime church member Will Bennett. “Make it make sense.”
“The Bible describes one window on the ark, but this thing’s got eight of them,” said one visitor. “A clear twisting of Scripture. What is this, heresy hour?”
“I can’t even tell what these animals are,” said another visitor. “I’m never coming to this church again.”
At publishing time, four-year-old Jerry Quill was seen crying in the back pew for an undetermined reason.
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