Newsom Signs Law Requiring All Cars To Be Horses By 2030

SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom signed a bill into law this week requiring all cars to be horses by the year 2030.

The bill will force car manufacturers to immediately begin working on converting cars into horses, though it does not specify a mechanism by which cars must undergo their equine transformation.

“The state of California will be achieve zero oil usage by 2030, because all of the cars will be horses,” explained Governor Newsom. “You see, horses don’t use gasoline. Californians will save hundreds of dollars on gas every year by simply switching to horses, all while helping to save the environment. We are once again leading the way, with California set to become the first all-horsey state in America. This is what real leadership looks like.”

Critics questioned whether the mandate was realistic, noting that no known technology exists for transforming cars into actual, living horses. Newsom, however, dismissed the concerns as misinformation from Big Automobile.

“People also said we’d never land on the moon,” said Newsom. “If we can make a rocket that goes 238,000 miles and safely lands on the moon, I’m pretty sure we can turn a Ford Focus into a Clydesdale. Now get to work, nerds.”

At publishing time, the Governor’s office had announced that Californians who still own automobiles after the 2030 deadline will face fines of up to $5,000 unless they can demonstrate that their vehicle is making a “good-faith effort” to become a horse.