U.S. — Sporting apparel giant Nike has released a new ad campaign alongside Tiger Woods, featuring the slightly updated slogan “Just Use Your Billion Dollars To Hire A Full-Time Driver”.
After years of using the cryptic slogan “Just Do It”, Nike decided to finally reveal what they are recommending people do, which is hiring a driver to avoid multiple DUIs.
“We think Tiger is the perfect spokesman for our new campaign,” said Nike CEO Elliott Hill. “As a company, Nike hopes to inspire the next generation of athletes with this new ad. Our message is to become great, amass a fortune, and then when you become addicted to painkillers due to all the surgeries you’ve had, use the wealth you accumulated to pay a full-time driver. We think it’s really going to resonate.”
At publishing time, Nike had a released an additional sneak peek at the new campaign with the slogan, “Just Don’t Cheat On Your Wife With Dozens Of Women And Then Get Beaten With Your Own Golf Club”.
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