RICHMOND, VA — The political landscape in the Commonwealth was set to change drastically moving forward, as the new gerrymandered congressional map of Virginia was revealed to include the entire state of California.
The ballot measure was expected to shift the balance of power dramatically in favor of the Democratic Party, as the heavily liberal state of California would now be added to Virginia’s newly redrawn map.
“Some might say it’s overkill, but we’ll take it,” said Virginia Governor Abigail Spanberger. “Our new congressional map proves that the Commonwealth’s brightest days are ahead, with more Democratic members of Congress than you can shake a stick at. And believe you me, you can shake a stick at a lot of Democratic members of Congress.”
Critics of the new plan were quick to point out the conflict of interest inherent in including an entirely different state into the map. “How does that even work, exactly?” asked former Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin. “Do California residents now get to vote in Virginia elections? Or do we now just have dozens more congressional districts due to California’s population? Does any of this even matter, or does it really just mean Democrats now just have absolute power in Virginia? Granted, I’m asking a lot of questions here that probably should have been asked before the bill was passed. Oh well, I’m not governor anymore. Good luck, Virginians!”
At publishing time, Governor Spanberger had reportedly reached out to California Governor Gavin Newsom for expert advice on how to use her party’s total control to most effectively bankrupt her state.
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni’s visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he’s about to become a dad.
