U.S. — Local man Richard Manfred was arrested today after failing to give attention to a matter despite President Trump thanking him for his attention to the matter.
President Trump had very generously expressed appreciation for Manfred’s attention to this matter, but Manfred made no effort whatsoever to give the matter his attention.
“Lock him up,” said Trump, after learning of Manfred’s negligence. “How can I say ‘Thank you for your attention to this matter’ if the matter was not given attention? That would make me a liar. Making me out to be a liar is illegal and anyone who does that should be in prison for a very, very long time.”
According to his lawyer, Manfred plans to plead guilty to the charge of “failing to attend to this matter.”
“I take full responsibility for my actions,” said Manfred. “I let the President and my country down. I saw the President’s thanks for my attention, and I did not give it. I will accept the punishment that I am due.”
At publishing time, Manfred’s lawyer had clarified that the “matter” Trump wanted attention to was a Truth Social post about dolphins being ugly.
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