TEHRAN — The United States Air Force confirmed a major strategic victory in Iran this week after it utilized a $30 million smart bomb to destroy one of Iran’s used $3,200 Toyota pickup trucks.
A Pentagon report of ongoing strikes in the region highlighted the total annihilation of a Toyota Hilux pickup carrying two terrorists and a bag of homemade grenades as one of several major victories for the U.S. military and a sure sign that the conflict would soon come to an end.
“That’s a hit, that’s a hit,” confirmed Second Lieutenant Gregory Foster. “I guess the Toyota Hilux is not so unbreakable after all. Game over.”
The Toyota Hilux, described by some analysts as the world’s toughest pickup, is a 4×4 unlike any other. Combining high-end capability and luxury comfort, customers have grown to expect to live a fuller life with the Hilux, provided they aren’t affiliated with the Ayatollah regime.
“We can see now who has ballistic superiority,” Foster continued. “This is the perfect use of our military resources and taxpayer dollars.”
Considering the cost of munitions, the salaries of personnel involved, fuel, the time spent gathering intel, and support from Kurdish troops on the ground, experts said the destruction of the Toyota Hilux cost the American people as little as $1 trillion.
At publishing time, the Pentagon had posted a new video to social media showcasing multiple B-2 Spirit stealth bomber strikes against an Iranian horse-drawn wagon that was carrying an old Soviet-era machine gun.
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