Nation Looks Forward To Not Watching Stephen Colbert One Last Time

U.S. — With The Late Show scheduled to end its 33-year run on Thursday night, the nation was looking forward to not watching Stephen Colbert one last time.

For an entire generation that grew up with The Late Show, the closing episode represents one final chance to do something more useful with their evening.

“It’s exciting, not watching Colbert for the last time,” said local woman Julie Laubacher. “We’ll play a round of Apples to Apples Jr. with the kids after dinner, then I’ll probably catch up on some laundry and go to bed early. I’m really looking forward to it.”

America has enjoyed not watching Colbert since he took over for David Letterman as host of The Late Show back in 2015. “Not gathering around the television to watch Colbert has become a sort of national pastime over the last decade,” said sociologist Dr. Brett Palacio. “It was one of the few things that drew us together as a country. Every weeknight, you knew that every household was doing literally anything else but watching Colbert. It’s bittersweet that this season is finally coming to an end. It’s the end of an era.”

At publishing time, the nation excitedly planned to carry on the tradition by not watching Jimmy Kimmel.