Kansas City Royals Somehow Find Way To Lose On Day When They Didn’t Play

KANSAS CITY, MO — In an achievement unprecedented in the history of Major League Baseball, the Kansas City Royals somehow managed to find a way to lose on a day when they didn’t play a game.

The surprising accomplishment came on a much-needed day off for the club that has limped to the worst record in the American League, with the coaching staff and players struggling to explain how they managed to lose without playing.

“We didn’t even know this was possible,” said manager Matt Quatraro following the loss. “We figured we’d be able to get away without a loss, considering we didn’t even play a game today, but luck just wasn’t on our side. We’ll regroup and get back at it tomorrow night. Hopefully we can get a win, though that may be a challenge if we’re losing even when we don’t play. Baseball is a crazy game sometimes.”

Despite there being no game on the schedule for the team, it was confirmed that the bullpen had blown another lead, resulting in another gut-wrenching loss. “This one is on us,” said relief pitcher Matt Straum, who took the loss. “I didn’t even pitch, so I’m not sure how this happened. But it is what it is. We’ll just keep battling and taking it one game at a time, even on days when we don’t have a game.”

At publishing time, the Royals had reportedly been pre-emptively notified that they had already lost tomorrow night’s game against the Tampa Bay Rays.